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20 April 2010 @ 10:27 pm
[os] Zutto  
title : Zutto
pairing : Nishikido Ryo x OC
genre : romance, angst
rating : not sure
disclaimer : I dont own Ryo, I just own the OC
summary : Ryo lost his love. again..

thanks to ohryouchipi who help me translate this fic. ah, I really suck in english..

***

Zutto..


I’m really deeply in my bad mood. I really want to know what I have to do, but in fact, I dont know. Since I woke up this morning, I just sit in front of my computer, turn it on, but I do nothing. At first, I just want to edit some of my last photos because, yeah, I dont know why, those photos look bad. I never do this before because I know it’s wrong, but, my photos exhibition will be release next month and I dont have any good photo to show. I cant show my ‘old’ photos, right? I am a profesional photographer!

I think there’s something wrong with me. There’s a missing part of me.

I sigh slowly. I need some refreshing and I guess, walk around the park is a good idea. I took my camera and I put my shoes on.

When I open my door, I just realize it’s spring now. The weather feels so warm and fresh. Hmm, how long I stay at home then?

I start to took some pictures of Tokyo citizen on my way to the park. Their happy face make my photos colourful. And the trees and flowers which look smile to me makes my day beauty. Well yeah, it is a good idea.

The park seems a little bit crowd. There are some kids playing a swing in the corner of the park. I walk around for a while, searching a good thing which I can make it everlasting with my camera. I took a pic of a kid who looks happy with his lolipop. And a ballon and cotton candy seller who busy serve the kids that buy what they sell. I just smile.

I throw my body to a green chair in the side of the park. I know now. I know what the missing part of me. I miss Osaka. Spring like this, very crowded in Osaka, when all the people enjoy the weather after winter. All the people come out from their house with a big smile in their face, greeting each other, until twilight makes them back to their house.

But I love Tokyo. Even it very different from Osaka, which there’s no polution and high building, but still, I love Tokyo. Even in Tokyo, people so much more care about their self and their work, still, I love Tokyo.
I look around and took some pics again. And now, my eyes stop at the guy with an empty gaze, sit in the park’s chair across me. From my camera’s lens, he looks so elegant, with or without the loneliness from his face. I dont know why, but I really wanna see his smile.

He looked at me when I took a picture of him. His full-of-loneliness-eyes staring at me. Oh God, why his gazeling looks so empty? What’s wrong with him?

 “Oi, omae!” he yelled.

I pointed to myself. Make sure is that really me who he called.

“Yes, you. Who else?”

“Nandeyanen?” ask me to him. I’m up from my sit and sit beside him.

 “Why you take a picture of me? Delete it!” He told me with a curt tone.

“No, I dont want to,” I replied. What the hell is in his mind? I will never delete a beautiful picture from my camera.

“Hey, you even dont ask my permission to take my pic. So, delete it!”

“If I say I dont want, it means I’ll never delete it, aho!”

“Delete!”

“No!”

“What’s wrong with you? I dont give you my permission to take a pic of me. So, delete it!”

“Look, How’s your feeling if you are a photographer whom will be release an exhibition next month but you dont have any photos that suit for you to show in public and with lucky, you get a beutiful picture but you must delete it? How? I’m not gonna delete your pic!”

The guy in front of me fall silent. So do I. And why I talk that much to a person I dont even know?! Aaaaah, baka!

“So, you think I’m beutiful?” Suddenly, he talk.

I cant answer his question. Yeah, I do think he is beautiful, so what? But my tongue feel numb. I cant answer his question. Ah, I believe my face turn red like a boiled lobster now..

He laugh. His laugh looks so.. satisfy. I staring at him with my killer eyes. I’m not let he laugh at me like that. But.. his laugh. He looks so georgous with his laugh. Those loneliness that I see in his face, just dissapear, replace by a warm laugh. His laugh makes my heart beat now.

“Hey, you think I’m beutiful, right? Silent mean yes..” He said. He wipes his tears from his eyes because to much laugh.

 I dont like it. Totally. Why he can laugh like that? I turn back, dont wanna see his face. But it seems make he laugh much louder.

“So, it mean yes. Well, I guess I am beautiful..” He said again. “Okay, because I’m pity in you, I let my picture stay in your camera. Aah, I must going now. Jaa.”

I saw his steps leaving the park. My eyes still on him untilhe dissapear from my view.

He, who looks so beutiful.

And once again, I remember my Osaka.

Why?

Ah, I remember, He use the same language as me. Kansai-ben.

***

Everybody congratulate me. I’m happy. The photographs on display in every corner of this building, they praised it. Included that guy’s picture. A beutiful guy but I dont know his name.

I walk to my photo in the middle of the hall. I am purpose to print this photo withthe biggest size. Tall and wide as this room 2 adults side by side with his hands spread . With a shiny grey frame, makes everybody eyes will look at this photo. Under it, there’s a little white board write A Man With Lonely Around Him, the title of the pic infront of me.

Yup, a pic of a guy with an empty gaze which full of sadness. A guy whom I met a month ago. I just smile watching a this photo.

“Ah, my photo.” I heard a voice beside me. I look toward and find him. I find that face, the lonely face. He come to my exhibition?

He looks.. handsome with that black tuxedo in his body. God, two times I me thim, and also those two times he can stole all of my attention. And my heart too.

“Hey, you from that time.. I dont believe you are a photographer and really really display my picture.” He smiled at me. “Nice photos. Oh, congrats for your exhibition.” He hold out his hand. “Nishikido Ryo.”

I smile and shake his hand. “Arigatou,” reply me.

“Wanna have a walk with me?” he ask gently. “And you dont tell me your name yet.”

“Yes, I want to. And, do you blind so you cant see my name displayed very clearly in the whole place in this hall?” I laugh.

He scratch behind his ear. His face looks so cute when he awkwardly. I believe God really love him so He made him so perfectly.

“Ah, gomen. So, ngg, ikou?”

I nod and start walking. “Where we going?”

“How about take some coffee? I treat you.”

So, we walk to a cafe across my exhibition hall. We sit in the table for two at the corner of the cafe and start to choose what will we order.

“Hmm, you only treat me a coffee or I can order a dessert? I just really want to eat a Cheese Cake now.” ask me to him.

“Order as you like. Because you make me famous today.” He laugh, so do I.

“Okay then, rrr, I just order Ice Tea and Cheese Cake. I dont that cruel to you.”

Waitress come to us and asking what we order. Nishikido answered gently. I staring at him. That lonely face still there. Even if he smile, loneliness still there. Just for once I can see the lonely dissapear from his face, the time when he laughed at me a month ago.

“Hey, I know I am beautiful but you dont to have starring at me like that, right?” suddenly his voice wake me from my day dreaming. Ah, shit! My face must be red like boiled lobster now.

“Ne, Nishikido-san, what do you do?” ask me. Honestly, I want to know him mor closer.

“Me? Ah, I just an amateur journalist. Not like you, I need learn more. And dont call me Nishikido-san. Just Ryo.”

Ryo. Ryo. Ryo. Ryo. I must call him Ryo. I smile. I must call him Ryo.

“Okay. Ryo.” I feel weird when I said that. He laugh again.

“Ah, may I take a pic of you? I came to your exhibition because I had a job to cover it. And may I ask some questions to you?”

“Of course. I dont know that my exhibition so interesting until you’ll cover it, hehe..” Joke. Of course I lied. I alrady released three exhibition and all of it always become first topic in photography magazine. This is my fourth exhibition.

“I belive the cause is there’s a beutiful photo of me,” he reply. I laugh.

He took out a small camera and recorder from his pocket. "Smile~~" I smiled a little when he took a picture.

"The result?" I asked. Yes, I've always been worried about my appearance. If the picture does not look good, have to re-photograph.

He frowned when he saw the picture earlier. "Awful," he said.

"Uh? Awful? Delete! "

"No way!"

"Aaaah, Deeeleete!"

"No way!"

"What's wrong with you? It’s normal if I want to look beautiful in the coverage of the exhibition .. "

 "You hear me .. How does it feel when you were a journalist who is required to cover an exhibition of photographs and then you're lucky to get a photo with weird expression of  photographer, and it's beauty pic, but you have to delete that picture? I'm not going to delete your picture! "
I was silent. That was, my words ..

Ryo chuckled. for the sec, I saw loneliness disappear from his face, when he laughed like this. Just like a month ago. Without realizing, I laugh too. The man in front of me, really stole my heart.

Now I know, what is really missing from me. Not Osaka, but love.

I love him. I love Nishikido Ryo.

I know I've only met him twice. But is not there such thing called love at first sight? I never believed that phrase until this day, I realized that I was experiencing it.

I want to erase the loneliness from his face. I want to remove the emptiness from his eyes. I want to .. Live with him.

"Hey .." Ryo's voice startling me. "You're daydreaming again. What were you thinking? "

I shook my head. "No, no nothing."

"Where are you from?"

"Osaka. See, I’m using  Kansai-ben. Just like you. "

"Ah, yes. I never noticed. Stupid me." He laughed. "I'm also from Osaka. Maybe we can go there together if you want. "

I nodded. I'm definitely looking forward to that.

Our orders came. I drink my iced tea and started eating my Cheese Cake. Ryo blew his Cappuchino last and then sip it.

"Ready to answer questions for your exhibition coverage?" He asked, smiling.

I nodded confidently and continue to munch the cake in front of me.

He switch on his recorder. He supported his chin with his right hand while his left hand holding the recorder.

 "The first time you take pictures?"

"Hmm .. I do not remember. I never know what to answer questions like this. All I know was, it has been so long ago. For me, photography is my life. "

"What made you interested in photography?"

"When you see something not with your eyes, but with the lens of a camera, you will know, the world is different from your mind."

Ryo smiled. "Really good words. Then, what message do you want to send and what achievement that you want to get through your exhibition? "

"I just want people to see what I see from my camera. There is no other goal I held an exhibition. And for the exhibition this time, I'm very happy. Because I have a photograph that I adore so much. "

"May I know what photograph is that?"

"Not what. But who. The photo is a photo of a man who was sitting in park chairs. Loneliness in his face and his eyes filling empty. You can see the photo right in the middle of the exhibition. "

I looked at Ryo who just silent for a long time. "Yes, it's you," I whispered. Ryo smiled a little. His  beautiful face once again covered by loneliness. I wonder, what makes Ryo feel very lonely?

"Very good photo. This exhibition was your first or what? "

"This is my fourth exhibition. And for the first time, I opened the exhibition for three days. Usually, just one night. "

"Why?"

"The reason is actually quite selfish. I just want to show that, in this world, there is one handsome lonely man. "

"May I know your cell number?"

"Eh?"

"Your phone number. So I can call you when I feel lonely. Because, I think, you're the one who can make me laugh. "

I wrote down my phone number and my email address on a piece of tissue paper and handed it to Ryo. I smiled, looked at Ryo. And ah, why the recorder was still playing?

"You're not going to turn off the recorder?"

"Sukiyanen .."

"Eh?"

"Kimi ga .. Sukiyanen. "

***

"Ryo, chotto!" yelled me at Ryo  when he ran away from me.

He turned, but still running backwards. He reached out to me. I tried to reach it. But how can if he keeps running like that?

Currently we are on vacation to the beach of Kuta, Bali. The most amazing scenery I've ever seen during my life is today, a time when the sun was sinking. When the sky turns orange-black, with Ryo with me.

Already a year I became  Nishikido Ryo’s lover, a man who really loved me. The man who always accompany me to find interesting places for my photos. The man who was always singing while playing his guitar for me.

Reminded me of the days in which Ryo’s article about my exhibition a year ago published.

"You never say that you are famous photographer," he shouted very loudly from the speakers as soon as I picked up my phone. I have the phone away from my ear so i’m not feel dizzy to hear his voice.

"You never asked, so I didn’t say anything bout it. Your fault not asking me. "I said lightly. But I am  right, aint I?

"But you should have let me know so I can asked better questions for the article!"

"But then I told you it was my fourth exhibition. You should already know I'm a pro! "

"But it's .." He paused. "You're my girlfriend, you should tell me!"

"At that time I had not became your girlfriend, deshou?"

I can heard him grumbled at the other end. I laughed. "Yes, yes. I'm sorry. "

"Hmm .." Ryo mumbled. I cant imagine that he’s sulking now.

"Let’s go to the park? I'll treat you chocolates .. "I said mischievously. I know he hates sweet thing.

"Are you lost your mind? How many thousand times I told you I hate chocolate?!! "

I laughed again. I felt very satisfied to make him angry like that.

"Oh, yes, but because that article I got promotion."

"Omedetou."

"Un, arigatou. Let’s going out? "

"okey. Lets’ go to the park .. And  I won’t buy chocolate. "

"Okay. I’ll wait in the park. Do not be late! And, buy me Takoyaki. "He hung up before I could answer. Geez, Ryo ..

I walked to the park, the same park where for the first time I met Ryo. He was waiting there. I smiled at him and then sat beside him.

"So, are we going to eat tako or what?" I asked.

Ryo doesn't say anything. He closed his eyes and leaned his head on my shoulder.

"Ryoooo .."

"Hmm?"

"Are we going to eat tako or what?"

"Just stay here for awhile .. The weather is better here.. "

"Okey then .."

I leaned my head on Ryo's and take a deep breath. Yes, the air was indeed good.

A lot of people milling around in front of me. However .. That .. What the hell?

I woke up from my seat which makes Ryo gasped. I approached someone who was walking while reading the newspaper. I politely asked for the newspaper and luckily he let me. I stared in disbelief at the article on first page of this newspaper.

"Nandeyanen?" Ryo asked as he rubbed his eyes.

"You never say you are famous journalist!" I yelled at him. I know people in the park looking at us but I do not care. This man in front of me must die.

"You never asked, that’s why I never said anything. Your fault not asking. "He replied.

Really, this person  must die!

"Hey, do not put that  face. You have not told me you were famous photographer either. "

Well, I lost. I sat beside him and handed the paper to Ryo.

Articles in the first page.
Famous journalist dating Famous Photographers. Will They Produce Their Own Magazine?

What's that title? And what a rubbish article? With my and Ryo’s photo when we standing in front of Ryo’s photo in my exhibition.

"Oh this. I've seen. That's why I called you earlier." Ryo said, handing me back the paper.

Seriously .. This guy must die!

"So now let’s eat tako. Come on .. "Ryo woke up from his seat and dragged me.

Really have to die!

I smiled at the memories. The times I was with Ryo is a moment where I felt extremely happy.

"Ryo, smile ~.." I yelled at Ryo who is now far away in front of me. I lifted my camera which hanging around my neck and take his picture. Immortalize him with the background of the sun which hid shyly into the sea water.

Ryo ran over to me and hold my hand. "Let’s sit there," he said, pointing to a piece of wood on the beach.

Ryo and I walked slowly and sat on the wood. There was something odd about Ryo. His attitude .. Not the same as usual.

Ryo inhale deeply and exhaled. "I knew you'd still wondering why my face always shows the loneliness," Ryo started talking.

Yes, I'm curious. But I never dare to ask why. I just nodded.

"A long time ago, when I still lived in Osaka, I had loved someone. I really love her. Very. In fact, I still love her until I met you. "

I swallowed. What does he mean by saying this?

"However, she died. She died in a car accident in Osaka with my own best friend. Really, it's really breaking my heart. "

I hold his hand. I do not know what to say. I just hold his hand.

"I thought, I'll never love anyone else again. But, it turns out I was wrong. I love you. You're the only woman who can make me forget the bitter memories. You're the only woman who can make me laugh. You're the only woman that I want to spend  the rest of my life with. "

My tears flowed. Oh God .. I did not know if Ryo had been suffering. And now he said he loved me.

"Will you be my wife? Please Marry me .. " Ryo took out a ring from his pocket. A small white ring without a diamond or whatever. Plain. But, very beautiful.

My tears still flowed. I love you, Ryo. Of course I want to be your wife. Being the mother of your children. Always be by your side. Sure I would, Ryo.

Ryo wiped the tears that streaming down my cheeks. "Do not cry, please. The only thing that I did not want to see is your tears. "

I smiled. "It's happy tears, Ryo. And, yes. I want to. I love you. "

Ryo put the ring on my left finger. More tears flowed. The last thing I remember that moment, Ryo hugged me tightly as the sky turned black.

***

My stomach hurt. I cant bear it. This belly feels like pricked by thousand needles. Oh God, what's wrong with my stomach?

I got out of bed and then take my phone and called Ryo.

"Ryo, can take me to the hospital?" I asked when he answered his phone.

What's up? What happened to you?

"My stomach hurts. I also do not know why. Where are you? "

I'm in the office. Wait for me. I went to your house now.


I hung up and walked to the bathroom.  My stomach feel like  tied up and now I feel sick.

I throw up.

I do not know how much I throw up but my stomach was still sore. While waiting for Ryo, I decided to take a shower. Maybe it would make my stomach better.

I was very surprised to get so much blood when I opened my underwear. No, this is not menstrual blood. I've just finished menstruation a week before. I'm sure of it.

My God, what's wrong with me?

I only wash my body with warm water. I did not take shower because now I'm not strong enough to stand for long.

Ryo came a few minutes after I finished take clothes. He carried me into his car and then sat me in the front seat. He sat in the driver's seat and began to drive toward the hospital.

Along the way, I really can not bear the pain in my stomach. I curled up, trying different positions to ease the pain that is rampant in my body.

When we arrived at the hospital, Ryo carry me back to the emergency room.

After I told the doctor what happened to me, including the blood, the doctor told me to go directly to the lab for the ultrasound, to check something in my womb.

I sleep on the bed. The doctor put the gel on my stomach and began to examine with ultrasound equipment. I do not quite understand the image that appears on the screen, but my feeling says that something bad happened to me.

"What's wrong with me, Sensei?" I asked in the ultrasound room when I saw the doctor's forehead wrinkled.

Ryo looked at me worriedly. He sat on my right side.

The doctor turned off the ultrasound equipment and hold my hand. "Sorry, but the cancer has invaded your uterus. I do not know how severe the cancer, because we still have to perform various tests."

Cancer?

Me?

I felt Ryo’s grip on my hand getting stronger. I looked at his face. He cried.

"Please, Sensei. Do whatever you can make it better. Please, Sensei .. " Ryo said softly.

The doctor nodded. "We will doing our best. Now, let's do the examination. "

***

Really, I do not understand. Why? Why me? Why I have to suffer from this disease? The doctor said I can survive, only around a month. Then, what is the meaning of my life now? I just lay helpless in a hospital bed.
Every day, I only see Ryo's face full of guilt and emptiness. Face of someone who will be fully mine. Err, not yet. Maybe my status will only end up as his fiancee, not as his wife. I'll never through the beautiful nights with him. I'll never be the mother of his children. I'll never have a 'happily ever after' with him. I'll never have it.

I know my tears flowed.

I know, sooner or later, Ryo would leave me.

I know, I .. will hurt him.

After passing through beautiful years together with Ryo, now I have to leave him?

Already more than a year since I was convicted of endometrial cancer. I've done a pap smear, curettage, cystoscopy, chest X-rays, intravenous urography, sigmoidoscopy, bone and liver skening, barium enema, and whatever it's called, all tests showed that I was positive 2-stage cervical cancer.

The doctor gave me a choice. Did I choose conisasi operation, or removal of the uterus. Of course I still want to keep my womb. My dream is to bear Ryo ‘s children. Will not likely achieve if I lose my uterus, right?

A month since I had surgery on my uterus konisasi, I go through that again. Beyond the period of menstrual bleeding and feeling incredible pain fondle my stomach. After I returned to check my health, I re-sentenced to cervical cancer. This time more serious, stage 3.

I had to do some radiation to avoid it spread wider and increase the cancer stage. Automaticly, my ovaries died. I will not get pregnant again. I'm still 24 years old and I have lost my future?

Ryo, the only person who always accompany me when I go through all the tests and operations. My parents could not come from Osaka to Tokyo. They simply send an SMS and occasional calling me by phone, ask about my health.

I still stay in the hospital when the feeling came again. Radiation did not succeed in stopping my cancer. I'm so disgusted with my life. Why do I have to go through all this? I still want to be happy!

With heavy feeling, I underwent chemotherapy. My hair was falling out until they run out. Imagine, I live my days without my crown. Yes, my hair was growing again. However, it’ll fall again with the passing of chemotherapy. Every day I could not eat. Everytime I ate, I’ll throw it up, and throw it up, and throw it up. As my stomach was never able to receive food.

I really suffered.

God, what I have done so you let me suffer like this?

I still want to live, I still want to be with Ryo longer.

And why is chemotherapy still not managed to eliminate the curse of this disease in my uterus?

Doctors say there is no way anymore to save my womb. In fact, my uterus should be removed.

At that moment, with tears, Ryo agreed surgical removal of the womb. I remembered the words he utters at that time, "Who I love is you, and I love the way you are. I do not care about yourself with or without a uterus. All I care about, you always stay by my side. "

My uterus was removed. I must rest for three days in the hospital. After that I can go home. However, the day after I back to the house,  the extreme pain back in my stomach .

Ryo drove me again to the hospital. After undergoing several examinations, the doctors said that the cancer had spread to my lungs.

Will my lungs needed to be removed as well? Yes, please. Just kill me then!

Actually, I did not know my life was not long before the incident. The event that I’ll never forget.

I was walking to Asou-sensei’s room, doctor who has been helping me try to remove the damn cancer that attacked me, to ask how my real condition was when I saw Ryo went inside. I peeked outside, wondering what would Ryo do with Asou-sensei.

Silently, I could hear their conversation.

"Please, Sensei. Do anything to heal her. I really, really love her. I do not want to lose her."  The voice had I known since many years ago, the voice of a man named Nishikido Ryo.

Silence. There was no reply from Asou-sensei.

"Sensei, Please." I heard Ryo’s sob. He cried.

"I’m sorry, but, after trying various ways, it is impossible your fiance can live longer. I am afraid, her life only a month away.

What? A month? MY LIFE ONLY LEFT ONE MONTH!

BRAKK! Ryo slammed a chair. Jeez, what did he do? "WHY Sensei? WHY MUST BE HER? I DID NOT WANT TO KNOW, YOU HAVE TO SAVE HER! "Ryo screamed loudly. Ryo ...

He slumped on the floor. "Please, Sensei. I only have her .. "

His tears still flowed.

A knock on the door interrupts my thoughts. I look toward the door and muttered a little. Ryo sliding door and walked in, carrying a guitar and ... objects that I  had left for long time,  camera.

"Camera?" I asked. If the guitar, I'm not surprised. Because, every day, when he comes here, he has always played a song for me. Not. Not only when I'm here, before I was sick, he's also always sang a song for me. Any song, accompanied by his favorite guitar.

Ryo smiled. "Yes. I'm sure you would have missed your camera. So I brought here. "

I took my camera and take Ryo’s pictures. "Arigatou."

He nodded slowly. "Well, how? Am I still beauty? " he said, smiling.

I laughed. "Yes, of course. You will always be the most interesting and beauty sights for me. "

Ryo sat on a small couch next to my bed. He began strumming his guitar, and began to sing.

Ima boku yori hitotsu futatsu saki wo susundeta kimi no shouko ga
Ukibori ni natteku chinmoku yabutte kureru kara
Chigau dareka no hanashi de geragera moriagatteru furi shite
Demo sono egao mada mitetai kara kotoba nomikomu
Yeah yeah yeah.. Yeah yeah yeah..
Ima ijou wo hoshigaru desuka?
Motomeru yori mo ataero to satosu no desuka?
Eien nante nai yo to kensei shitemo ii
Demo boku wa ne hikatte mitai tomo ni
Tatoe isshun dake demo
Yeah yeah yeah.. Yeah yeah yeah..
Kimi wo irodoru subete no youso wo boku ga mamotte mise you
Nani ga atte mo soba ni iyou
Kimi ga kanashimu subete no youso boku ga ubau kara
Mou sukoshi dake ai wo
Ai wo ai wo
Afuredasu kotoba omoikitte itta
“Aishiteru” no hazu ga
Nou kara no shirei wo mata muishiki ni
Boku dake angou ni kaete
Yeah yeah yeah.. Yeah yeah yeah..
Kimi ni mune hatte kono omoi
Todokerareru hi wa kuru kana?
Dareka ni hokoreru boku de irareru kana?
Kimi ga iru no nara
Nandatte kanaerareru sonna ki ga suru kara
Todokeru ne ai wo
Ai wo
Kimi wo irodoru subete no youso wo boku ga mamotte mise you
Nani ga atte mo soba ni iyou
Kimi ga kanashimu subete no youso boku ga ubau kara
Arittake no ai wo
Ai wo ai wo
Yeah yeah yeah.. Yeah yeah yeah..

I cried. My God, why did you have to make me leave him?

I re-photographed Ryo. He was with his guitar like a single entity. That moment, should be everlasting.

I throw up.

I cant breathe.

My sight become dark.

***

Ryo waited until everyone went home. He stay alone under the rain. The sky was like crying with him. The sky is like knowing the what inside of his heart.

He laid a bouquet of purple orchids on the grave of a woman who fills her days during the last 3 years. The woman he loves. Very loved. The only woman who could make him laugh. And also the woman who left him.

"I love you. Still. Will. Always. Forever. "Softly, Ryo said.

He reached into his shirt pocket, took a paper which wrotten with his feeling. Slowly opened the folded paper, and placed it between sheets of purple petals of the orchid.

His tears dripping on the paper, along with the fall of water drops.

With unsteady steps, Ryo turned around. He headed home.



"Aishiteru.
Zutto. "

The paper destroyed, eaten by the heavy rain.

 
 
Current Location: rumah
Current Mood: sadsad
Current Music: code - nishikido ryo
 
 
 
shinosorashinosora on April 20th, 2010 06:05 pm (UTC)
[os] Zutto
hi
you did write a wonderful story.i'm crying for sure. i really love ryo-chan.
i'll tell you something that part of the story was happened to me just the part when the girl diagnose by cancer. my boy dies on motorbike accident. so when i read this story, i can't holding back my tears, it just spilled out from my eyes. but it was a beautiful story.
緑ちゃんmiitla on April 20th, 2010 10:07 pm (UTC)
Re: [os] Zutto
ohmygod..
im sorry. really.
i didnt mean to make you remember that memory. im sorry.
but, thank you so much.
shinosorashinosora on April 21st, 2010 07:54 am (UTC)
[os] Zutto
that's ok. even though i remember how's he dies. i still remember all of beautiful memory that i spent along with him. once again,i love your story.
緑ちゃんmiitla on April 21st, 2010 11:00 am (UTC)
Re: [os] Zutto
I hope he's happy now.
and, thank you.. ^^
shinobu_kujoshinobu_kujo on April 20th, 2010 07:49 pm (UTC)
yatta...finally released on english....hehehehe. Gomen ne i haven't finish my work as a promise....^^v

overall i still remember the story when still in Indonesian language, so i just fast read to see what will become when it translated to another language... apparently the story still sad ending....
緑ちゃんmiitla on April 20th, 2010 10:09 pm (UTC)
hehe, daijoubu..
micchi help me :)

of course it still sad ending.
you know i hate the happy one..
shinobu_kujoshinobu_kujo on April 21st, 2010 01:07 pm (UTC)
jitsuwa.....

there's a little bit mistake.. but it doesn't really matter if we didn't realize

in the sentence when Ryo said to the doctor : ""Please, Sensei. Do anything to heal her. I really, really love her. I do not want to lose him."

i think *him* in the last you should change with her... because it's little bit odd if we read it once again...

oh yeah....i think the word *gulali* you can replace with cotton candy....

well it's just my opinion...it's your choice to make a decision....

^^d....keep up the good work dear...
緑ちゃんmiitla on April 21st, 2010 01:29 pm (UTC)
ah, right.
i dont realize that.
*knapa jadi engrish sih?*
sankyuuuu~

edited :)
fancyann1974fancyann1974 on April 21st, 2010 02:30 am (UTC)
super sad, but a wonderful story
thank you
緑ちゃんmiitla on April 21st, 2010 11:07 am (UTC)
thank you for reading.. ^^
miyamoto_yukiomiyamoto_yukio on April 21st, 2010 06:41 am (UTC)
Hi~! I must say that even though this one-shot is really sad, it is still beautifully made. You did a great job on writing this. =D Thank you for sharing this~! Keep up the good work!
緑ちゃんmiitla on April 21st, 2010 11:10 am (UTC)
at first, I want to make it mini drama or multi chapter.
but, I was to lazy to write that long.
so, here it is, a one shot.

aaand, thank you so much for reading it ^^
miyamoto_yukiomiyamoto_yukio on April 22nd, 2010 02:41 pm (UTC)
Do itashimashite~! but this one is a very good long one-shot, ne? *shots*
nara_heiwanara_heiwa on April 21st, 2010 04:56 pm (UTC)
so beautiful and so sad at the same time
i loved it *-----*
you are a good writer
緑ちゃんmiitla on April 22nd, 2010 10:01 am (UTC)
thank you so much :)